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2011's End Of Year Review

2012's End Of Year Review

Can you hear me when I sing? You're the reason I sing.
You're the reason why the opera is in me.


1. What did you do in 2013 that you'd never done before?:
Oh, this will be fun. Sex. Birth control. Moved into another room in the same apartment. Had a boyfriend move in. Lost a job. Went to a funeral -- two, actually. Solved a problem twelve years in the making. Broke up with a friend. Wrote a book in three days. Was a bridesmaid. Wrote RPF about SHINee! And started a popular book serial.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I created a Grand Master List of things I wanted to do with my year. It kind of turned into one of those legalistic things? But I did get a lot of the list done. The things I didn't get done are being done now. I have a better idea of what I want as a person now, so I don't know if I'll continue with the list, but it would be nice to have a few things to work for.

3. Where did you ring in 2013?
At Dylan's place in Bensonhurst. I got to sit around the TV with friends, and then we went onto the balcony to see fireworks.

4. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?:
August 10th. Really, when I think about this year and all of the things that stood out, that's the one that grabs me by the shoulders, shakes me, and yells "PICK ME!" If we're going solely by real life things, I pick January 6 at 7 in the morning, because I saw a boy and time stopped.

5. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?:
Garo and I went to Six Flags for my 25th birthday. Yay NJ buses going to Port Authority. We had a lot of fun! Going to Six Flags in May is one of my favorite things to do. It's like Kings Island in October. Nobody's there, so it's all walk-ons all day.

6. What was your status by Valentines Day?
Taken and I went on a date! Garo and I went to Grimaldi's and then went for a walk in Brooklyn.

7. Were you in school (anytime this year)?
No, but I finally figured out I want to go back to school. It'll probably be hard, but who said life was supposed to be easy?

8. How did you earn your keep?
Working at the temp company, and then slugging it out at the froyo place for a couple of months, and then now at Equinox.

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?:
I was worried about this, but no.

10. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?:
Making sure that the one person who hurt me the most can never again do so. He's no longer in the city. I am currently working every little thread he left behind out so I can be as free as possible. I'm sure he's reading this. I don't particularly care. I can't fix him, and one of these days, he needs to realize that.

11. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?:
SHINEE!! I fully embraced my Shawolness and accepted The Great Dubu into my life. I make daily sacrifices of chicken on the SHINee altar.

12. What political issue stirred you the most?:
I got really excited about the gay marriage SCOTUS decision in June. That's kind of the long and the short of it. I'm not registered with a party in the city so I can't vote in local elections, though I plan to fix that (I just registered to vote in the POTUS race last year, and you can do that non-party).

13. Where did most of your money go?:
Rent. Still! I think that'll change this coming year, though.

14. What was your favorite TV program?:
Hmm. This year was kind of an off year for anime? Dokidoki was actually really good though it's not done. Shin Sekai Yori was good, too. Chihayafuru! I'd probably say that.

15. What was your favorite film of this year?:
Frozen. Okay, so I don't watch a lot of movies, but I waited all year to see this one.

16. What was the best book you read?:
Surprisingly, nothing really comes to mind. I think this means I need to do more reading. Although I will have to say I love reading RPF on Wattpad. A special shoutout to "Endless Hate" by my friend Karen Soul :D :D :D

17. What was your greatest musical discovery?:
Figuring out that I want to do music for a living, as a proper career.

18. Did anyone close to you give birth?:
Not ringing any bells off the top of my head.

19. Did anyone close to you die?:
I went from three grandparents to one in the space of a year. Going back and forth to Ohio that many times is rough -- a huge reason I didn't go home either for Thanksgiving or Christmas this year. But it put a lot of things in perspective for me.

20. What countries -- ahem, states -- did you visit?:
I went to Ohio a lot? And I went back to Indiana, to North Carolina, and to DC with the choir.

21. What was your biggest achievement of the year?:
I'd quite honestly say it was writing the 3-Day Novel. That story I wrote has needed to be told for years and years and years, and in a way that book and August 10th finally put an end page to the past I've been reveling in for a long time.

22. What was your biggest failure?:
That kiss on the train. Maybe not my biggest failure, but my biggest regret definitely.

23. Compared to this time last year, are you…
i. thinner or fatter?: totally fatter but soon to be thinner, or at least a bit more proportional!

ii. richer or poorer?: definitely poorer but soon to be richer

24. What do you wish you'd done more of?:
Making new friends (although I did pretty good at this, actually!). Making music. Snuggling.

25. What do you wish you'd done less of?:
Obsessing over somebody else's actions. Not going out and doing things. Eating. Writing. Obsessing about deadlines. (I totally don't want to finish this Dvorak update -- I'm a little stressed out, okay?) Holding on to friendships that died a long time ago.

26. How will you be spending Christmas next December?:
With my family. I took a break this year, but I think Steph will be on tour again, and it'll be good to be with them no matter where they are.

27. Did you fall in love in 2013?
Oh wow. What a question. I totally didn't expect Garo to come out of nowhere and waltz right into my life -- I was finally being happy for once and didn't want all the drama that came with someone new in my life. It's been rough, sure, and things are never as perfect as they seem. But I'm glad that my relationship with Garo isn't built on superficial things. It might have seemed like it started that way, but it's built on honesty and integrity and communication, and I love that. I love him. And I look forward to finding a way to spend many more years with him.
In other news, did anybody else notice the 1 and 2 run parallel to each other? :D

28. How many one-night stands?:
None, thank God (unless you count that one incident on the Metro-North, and I don't).

29. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?:
Hate is a very strong word, as I'm sure I've elaborated on before -- but I do. I honestly hate him for all that has happened. And I wish he would just go away sometimes. I'm finding it hard to love him with all that has happened, and for the first time, I'm discovering I actually have a choice whether to love him or not.

30. What did you get really, really, really excited about?:
Showing Garo around Ohio! Even though I was nervous. Going to Washington D.C. with my choir. Writing the 3-Day Novel. (Surprisingly I did NOT get excited about NaNo.)

31. What did you want and get?:
Love. Understanding. Power. The one person I've been searching for for twelve years -- myself, in a way.

32. What did you want and not get?:
The full-time job that I was subbing at. A friendship with someone special.

33. What was your best month?
August into the beginning of September; even though I was going through a lot, that's when the most important stuff happened, like the novel and the 12-year thing. Yeah. Details. :D

34. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?:
Money. Confidence. Athleticism! The ability to jump on a plane or bus and go wherever I want.

35. How would you rate this year with a scale from 1 (shitty) to 10 (excellent)?
If 2011 was ten plus one then this year is probably ten plus two? 15, maybe?

36. What's something you learned about yourself in 2013?
It's okay to hate people? I learned that it's okay if I have my own opinion about something. I learned that my world is okay, that if you stick close to what is true in your heart, it will all come back to you and stay forever (goggles for the win). 2013 was about realignment -- 2014 will be about building a foundation where I can stay true to myself.

37. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?:
Anything that fit, especially toward the end of the year. This was not the year for fashion. I wore Garo's clothes most of the time XD

38. What kept you sane?:
Garo! Are you kidding me? He was the only thing that kept me sane, really. I mean, who tries to write a novel in three days? I did, and I did it, and I only did it because he was there. He takes my craziness and he holds me and he makes everything pengins again.

39. Who did you miss?:
I miss my grandma and grandpa, but I know they are with me. I know that every time I walk through Times Square.

40. Who was the best new person you met?:
Garo, and the people I met in choir!

41. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013.
The people you love will always be with you, because they will always be a part of you, for better or worse. Also: you are in control of your own life. And love is possible. And miracles do happen.

42. What song will always remind you of 2013?:
"Password" by SHINee. That was easy.

43. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Heaven, we hope, is just up the road." -- Atlas, Coldplay

And also: "No, I won't say sorry
for the ways you bought me
and made me discard where I'm from
and I won't forget
how you held it against me
to expose what a bad girl I've become...
but I do regret
how you made me forget
that my God still cries from above."

44. What Quotes sum up the year?:
"Everything is beautiful now."

February 2017

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