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040711 -- Where To Start?
Apr. 7th, 2011 05:31 pmThere have been lots of different things on my mind this past week. What to start with? I'm not really sure, so today's entry might be more rambling than anything else.
I did make it back to Polaris, although today I am writing from Panera instead of Starbucks. I hope to go to Starbucks later, gouge myself on sweets, and pound out some more for Script Frenzy or for my new story. I do have a question on that -- all you video game nerds, if you buy a guide for your favorite game, what do you expect to be in it? Might make a splurge purchase and go buy the BW guide just to take a look. My next novel is moonlighting as a guide for a video game, that's why, and while it needs to have the standard novel whatever, it also needs to have a lot of the things a guide needs, too. Today at North Star I want to go investigate the line of shops by this Panera, including Old Navy and Best Buy. Why? Because I can.
I can also see Target from here.
It's pretty relaxing here. I could go anywhere, and I would be just fine. It reminds me a lot of what I've been thinking about with my life, and what I want to do with it. Going back to Miami caused me to confront a lot of my 'demons,' per se. But it really wasn't like that. Instead of being a painful reminder of what was, it was a blessing, filled with hope. It reminded me that while the Bible is uncompromisable, neither is love. I think sometimes those two things can fight against each other in this world. We love people, we want to help them, but the Bible says this. Facts get tied up in hate. Things get construed along the ling. And we're left wondering if we can service to others when our own lives aren't perfect.
What can I do? I can try to follow the Bible to the best of my ability. I also know that I have learned more about myself being on my own than I ever did serving others. I can use that knowledge to help people, even if I'm not sure how to right now. Perhaps holding off is the best thing right now; with me wanting to move and all that. I have to move; I have to make life hard on myself. I don't really care where I move -- I suppose I could move in Ohio if I wanted to, but I'm just tired of being at the same place all the time. Heck, I could even move to Polaris, get a job at Panera. My mother would say that's not safe. I think people who know me like to know I don't like things safe. I'm a roller coaster fan, for crikey's sake. If I don't take some risks and get myself out there, I will spend my entire life here. (Not in Polaris, I mean.)
All my life, I've been taught to play it safe, think things through. I've never wanted to do that, but I have out of respect for people. Well, I've been living on my own, I'm almost out of respect, and more importantly, I'm out of fear. It will be interesting to see where my life goes, but I know I must keep God close in all of this. If I have him, my steps will be good. And that's where I stand right now.
On slightly unrelated news, I've chosen Eleison for LaCrea's themesong. Anybody remember Eleison? Anybody? I laid loops for it once upon a time, but I'll probably start fresh later on tonight. Probably. Maybe. If I'm not tired. *sigh*
I did make it back to Polaris, although today I am writing from Panera instead of Starbucks. I hope to go to Starbucks later, gouge myself on sweets, and pound out some more for Script Frenzy or for my new story. I do have a question on that -- all you video game nerds, if you buy a guide for your favorite game, what do you expect to be in it? Might make a splurge purchase and go buy the BW guide just to take a look. My next novel is moonlighting as a guide for a video game, that's why, and while it needs to have the standard novel whatever, it also needs to have a lot of the things a guide needs, too. Today at North Star I want to go investigate the line of shops by this Panera, including Old Navy and Best Buy. Why? Because I can.
I can also see Target from here.
It's pretty relaxing here. I could go anywhere, and I would be just fine. It reminds me a lot of what I've been thinking about with my life, and what I want to do with it. Going back to Miami caused me to confront a lot of my 'demons,' per se. But it really wasn't like that. Instead of being a painful reminder of what was, it was a blessing, filled with hope. It reminded me that while the Bible is uncompromisable, neither is love. I think sometimes those two things can fight against each other in this world. We love people, we want to help them, but the Bible says this. Facts get tied up in hate. Things get construed along the ling. And we're left wondering if we can service to others when our own lives aren't perfect.
What can I do? I can try to follow the Bible to the best of my ability. I also know that I have learned more about myself being on my own than I ever did serving others. I can use that knowledge to help people, even if I'm not sure how to right now. Perhaps holding off is the best thing right now; with me wanting to move and all that. I have to move; I have to make life hard on myself. I don't really care where I move -- I suppose I could move in Ohio if I wanted to, but I'm just tired of being at the same place all the time. Heck, I could even move to Polaris, get a job at Panera. My mother would say that's not safe. I think people who know me like to know I don't like things safe. I'm a roller coaster fan, for crikey's sake. If I don't take some risks and get myself out there, I will spend my entire life here. (Not in Polaris, I mean.)
All my life, I've been taught to play it safe, think things through. I've never wanted to do that, but I have out of respect for people. Well, I've been living on my own, I'm almost out of respect, and more importantly, I'm out of fear. It will be interesting to see where my life goes, but I know I must keep God close in all of this. If I have him, my steps will be good. And that's where I stand right now.
On slightly unrelated news, I've chosen Eleison for LaCrea's themesong. Anybody remember Eleison? Anybody? I laid loops for it once upon a time, but I'll probably start fresh later on tonight. Probably. Maybe. If I'm not tired. *sigh*
