042911 -- A Royal Wedding
Apr. 29th, 2011 05:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
memorialrainbowYou know, I wasn't originally going to watch this wedding. It was something that just didn't suit my fancy. Waking up to watch a wedding at five in the morning? Sorry, no thanks. But watching it *with* somebody? I'll watch most anything with somebody (save for horror movies; sorry, Dylan).
Lexie's washing her hair right now. We turned it on at five; any earlier than that is suicide. I seriously doubt anybody in Britain got sleep last night. This is royalty. Do we give God this same attention? Omigosh, wouldn't it be so cool if we each went through this exact same thing? One by one? Wouldn't heaven really ridiculously rock? It'd be a different wedding to God every day. Or maybe it'd all happen at once. This is God I'm talking about. And we'd be all like, OMIGOSH what is happening this is amazing. Now I really want to get married, but I really kind of want to get married to God. This is biblical, by the way. I want a white dress and I want to meet Him there.
I wonder if we'll remember anything in heaven. (I kind of need to; TTR readers take heed.)
I remember a dream about shopping. Drinking soda. Painting beads. I'm not sure exactly why. But I do remember going to a favorite restaurant and seeing Kristin Anderle there, so it must have been in Oxford. I've had a list of people whom I need to talk to before deciding what I'm going to do. Dylan did make it into Jersey Shakes, but he's made it clear that I shouldn't go, so that's out. So wherever I go, I will go alone...if anywhere at all. Like I said before, I like
I think Catherine is someone to admire, and I think Britain will really treasure her. She's an 'older' bride, I suppose, and that makes me feel like, "okay, not a huge deal that I'm married immediately." I think William and Harry look like Jesse, Harry moreso because he's blue. Do you think I could walk down the aisle at 2:48? This also makes me want to watch The King's Speech today. We're all family! We're all royalty! (Per Galatians, we are all Abraham's children. And God claims us as children. If that isn't royalty, I don't know what is.)
I feel better after sleep; after this, I will drive home and probably sleep some more. I think I might go home through 35/675. Even if I can't specifically talk to somebody on my list, I can still speak as I drive. I can still make my peace. And there's nothing specifically I need to do once I get home, other than work later on, upload these entries, and sleep sleep sleep.
I feel really bad about Dylan. Part of my heart feels like it got stomped on for two reasons: 1 because I didn't see him while I was in Oxford, and 2 becaues of Jersey. I can get over 1, and I got over 1. It was funny being so close, and I wanted to go congratulate him, but I'm glad I didn't. Otherwise, I would have sulked the entire way to Miamisburg.
(I love how I now have Japanese music on while watching London on TV.)
Number 2 I obviously can't fix. I want for him to go to Jersey. I can't stop him. If I stopped him, I wouldn't be any better than when I was with Mike. Is my life destined for this? Should I just completely let him go? Or should I continue to fight for us? I can't go from lonliness right now to more lonliness. So, no matter where I go, I want to find people, I want to be with people, and I want to be with people who know God. With Dylan, there's been a bit of a disconnect lately. I do things without telling him, like finally upgrading Ringo to Leopard. That's something he's pestered me about for a long time, and he's mentioned nothing about it. I also feel like he can be too critical sometimes, but he knows I feel this. (Or at least i hope he does. I don't know how often he reads this blog.)
The bottom line is this, and that's why I'm so disappointed: I've waited so long to see him, to be around him all the time, and now I just have to wait longer. Yeah, yeah, I know that it will be worth it if I wait, but this seriously isn't good for my mindset.
Another option would be to move with the wonderful woman next to me. Lexie's expressed a desire to move to Charlotte or maybe somewhere else; we're both kind of like "where do we go, what do we do?" (It's the queen!!! In yellow!!!) Where would we go? We just prayed, which I haven't been doing a lot of (shame on me), and I wonder about things. I know God has placed Lexie in my life to be a friend, someone who is there for me. She's the Katie to my Christy (I know most of you don't get that). I suppose if I'm not going to spend my summer with Dylan, I would love to spend it with her, wherever that might be.
Now we are going to watch the actual wedding...which I now see as that symbol of hope, and as a symbol of love, not only for Britain, but for the world.
Lexie's washing her hair right now. We turned it on at five; any earlier than that is suicide. I seriously doubt anybody in Britain got sleep last night. This is royalty. Do we give God this same attention? Omigosh, wouldn't it be so cool if we each went through this exact same thing? One by one? Wouldn't heaven really ridiculously rock? It'd be a different wedding to God every day. Or maybe it'd all happen at once. This is God I'm talking about. And we'd be all like, OMIGOSH what is happening this is amazing. Now I really want to get married, but I really kind of want to get married to God. This is biblical, by the way. I want a white dress and I want to meet Him there.
I wonder if we'll remember anything in heaven. (I kind of need to; TTR readers take heed.)
I remember a dream about shopping. Drinking soda. Painting beads. I'm not sure exactly why. But I do remember going to a favorite restaurant and seeing Kristin Anderle there, so it must have been in Oxford. I've had a list of people whom I need to talk to before deciding what I'm going to do. Dylan did make it into Jersey Shakes, but he's made it clear that I shouldn't go, so that's out. So wherever I go, I will go alone...if anywhere at all. Like I said before, I like
I think Catherine is someone to admire, and I think Britain will really treasure her. She's an 'older' bride, I suppose, and that makes me feel like, "okay, not a huge deal that I'm married immediately." I think William and Harry look like Jesse, Harry moreso because he's blue. Do you think I could walk down the aisle at 2:48? This also makes me want to watch The King's Speech today. We're all family! We're all royalty! (Per Galatians, we are all Abraham's children. And God claims us as children. If that isn't royalty, I don't know what is.)
I feel better after sleep; after this, I will drive home and probably sleep some more. I think I might go home through 35/675. Even if I can't specifically talk to somebody on my list, I can still speak as I drive. I can still make my peace. And there's nothing specifically I need to do once I get home, other than work later on, upload these entries, and sleep sleep sleep.
I feel really bad about Dylan. Part of my heart feels like it got stomped on for two reasons: 1 because I didn't see him while I was in Oxford, and 2 becaues of Jersey. I can get over 1, and I got over 1. It was funny being so close, and I wanted to go congratulate him, but I'm glad I didn't. Otherwise, I would have sulked the entire way to Miamisburg.
(I love how I now have Japanese music on while watching London on TV.)
Number 2 I obviously can't fix. I want for him to go to Jersey. I can't stop him. If I stopped him, I wouldn't be any better than when I was with Mike. Is my life destined for this? Should I just completely let him go? Or should I continue to fight for us? I can't go from lonliness right now to more lonliness. So, no matter where I go, I want to find people, I want to be with people, and I want to be with people who know God. With Dylan, there's been a bit of a disconnect lately. I do things without telling him, like finally upgrading Ringo to Leopard. That's something he's pestered me about for a long time, and he's mentioned nothing about it. I also feel like he can be too critical sometimes, but he knows I feel this. (Or at least i hope he does. I don't know how often he reads this blog.)
The bottom line is this, and that's why I'm so disappointed: I've waited so long to see him, to be around him all the time, and now I just have to wait longer. Yeah, yeah, I know that it will be worth it if I wait, but this seriously isn't good for my mindset.
Another option would be to move with the wonderful woman next to me. Lexie's expressed a desire to move to Charlotte or maybe somewhere else; we're both kind of like "where do we go, what do we do?" (It's the queen!!! In yellow!!!) Where would we go? We just prayed, which I haven't been doing a lot of (shame on me), and I wonder about things. I know God has placed Lexie in my life to be a friend, someone who is there for me. She's the Katie to my Christy (I know most of you don't get that). I suppose if I'm not going to spend my summer with Dylan, I would love to spend it with her, wherever that might be.
Now we are going to watch the actual wedding...which I now see as that symbol of hope, and as a symbol of love, not only for Britain, but for the world.
