081811 -- After School Overflow

There is way too much Bath and Body Works stuff on this desk. I need to fix that. (fixes) ( Read more... )

When Cedar Point asks which seat on Millennium Force is best, back or front, I say "the whole thing." XD

081811 -- Sei Ja Nai

Suck it up, suck it in,
overperform, soulless vessel,
eyes sunk in and grave already dug,
the walking dead among us.
Forget your name and retreat,
chain his emotions to your bedpost.
Whip the puppy into submission,
his ring on your finger,
an unwanted fantasy.

It's not your fault.

The tiger burns bright,
his rage forgotten in the tunnel
leading to a sleepless shore;
inhibitions gone,
he sprints when she falters;
he races when she rolls back.
A selfish beauty
but a beauty nonetheless.

It's not your fault.

Enter the heralded victim,
banished and bruised
for the one he loves,
a self sacrificial lamb
who won't give himself a break.
O, brother, why do you cry so?

It's not your fault.

He glorifies himself
and she punishes herself.
Black and white, yin and yang,
a checkered flag of love
woven by threads of long ago lies.
"Tell me," she says.
"Tell me when something's wrong.

It's not your fault."

She no longer sleeps,
plagued by anxiety
and a projected spoon fear
holding her hands hostage,
poisoning her precious life.
The fates have not been kind
to this little girl
with braids in her hair.
And yet, if one so aptly titled
can rise above her mountain
to disregard her spinning circuit
and just to glow:
then how so ever more shall this
stardust glimmer
if only given the chance?

If she will only give herself a
chance and say:
"It's not your fault."

Guilt is a red blanket
that we hide under.
She cries not in actual pain,
but a memory,
green eyes slapping her face,
unwanted words slashing her skin.
The dark is safer than the light.

But it's still not your fault.

Reach out for her hand
and catch her when she falls.
If she is planted,
she will sprout a new blanket
of morning glories and sunny skies
and whispered identities
and real, true respect.
What you must do
is either save her from herself --
or live your life in such a way
that she can save her own life.

Hide your nose in pop culture;
shatter the opera chandelier.
This is your fault.

081911

I'm feeling so much better today.

The poem I posted yesterday was actually one I wrote at work a few days ago. It's not from my point of view, clearly. (Actually, I had a helper.)

Today I'm going to call my apartment manager and let him know I'm moving, and then...drumroll please...I'm going to go walk five miles! I need a water bottle first, maybe I'll grab a Propel, but it's something I've wanted to do all summer to prove that I can. I've done two and three before, and I'll be doing it at my own (probably way too easy) pace, but even just knowing I can do it is power. I want to walk in a 5K eventually.

OK, time to go do some of this awesome stuff.

You are always the one.