081811 -- After School Overflow
Aug. 19th, 2011 01:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
memorialrainbowThere is way too much Bath and Body Works stuff on this desk. I need to fix that. (fixes)
You're probably too kind to me, you realize?
You take all the blame.
When you're performing, I am supported by your song.
Even if you're hurt by me, you won't say anything, right?
To see you looking toward tomorrow with this confidence
is special.
Some really interesting stuff happened today, and it all ended up being that Dylan won't be living with me in New York City. It was pretty rough, but not really something I want to talk about right now. All I'm gonna say is that it was rough.
If we say goodbye after school is done,
we might not be able to see each other anymore.
Tears became like rain on my eyelids.
While you walked home, away from me,
your figure was just like a sepia photograph.
Some people may wonder, and I even wonder myself...how can I make us work in a situation like that? Being as far away as we are? I think a lot of what helps me with my relationship with Dylan is what I write. Everything I do write is reinforcement in my head. If I write it down, whether it's here or in my wreckord journals or wherever, what I write down gets stuck in my head and I remember it easier. I've known that since high school, where I would write out my notes in class so I would remember what was going on. The more I write about Dylan, the more I remember him. That's why I used to write to him all the time in that journal. I would be close to him, even if I wasn't.
Admitting you're in love is humbling.
I couldn't sing your name.
Why is this world endless?
If I think about it too much, I'll be broken inside.
I hear your voice muttering, "I couldn't protect you."
Could I just hold you?
Over the next year or so, things are going to be rough. We'll be apart, sure. But I can look out my window and know that we really are looking at the same night sky. If I close my eyes and jump, I can be with him. I'll meet him halfway, as much as I need to. I have every confidence that this will work, and I have confidence in the one person who has taught me how to live more than anybody else. And if it doesn't work out, I will cry, but I will not love him any less. I will go out in a blaze of glory, like Dido's white flag, and I will take every lesson and every memory to heart. But I must be able to shine on my own. Dylan is a lamp just like me; he can't be my fuel. In little spurts, yes, but not all the time, and I must learn to do the same for him. It won't be easy, but I know I can do it. (If I can go to NYC all by myself, I can do anything, right?)
If we say goodbye after school is done,
tomorrow we won't be able to see each other.
I once believed that we would never change.
I gathered up my childish dreams,
and the memories turned into a sepia photograph.
The blue storm of time that runs past me whips at my cheeks.
I'll always love you!
Like I usually do, I saw something in my head when listening to this new song. They're usually indicators of my future life; it's happened a lot since last year. I saw Dylan in the city; I saw us playing around and having fun. I saw Emily, my new roommate. I saw Kino and Coney Island. And then, at the very end, I saw Dylan standing in the city by himself, and me running up to him and giving him a big kiss, and him returning it back. Having that image in my head pushes me forward, knowing that in all things, I have love. I can't worry about the future. I can only focus on the here and now, the wonderful person I have by my side, and firmly believe that he is going to make it, with or without me.
If we say goodbye after school,
tomorrow we might not be able to see each other anymore.
Before I wake up, the eastern sky rises.
You're beyond the sky...
I love you too.
Always and forever.
When Cedar Point asks which seat on Millennium Force is best, back or front, I say "the whole thing." XD
You're probably too kind to me, you realize?
You take all the blame.
When you're performing, I am supported by your song.
Even if you're hurt by me, you won't say anything, right?
To see you looking toward tomorrow with this confidence
is special.
Some really interesting stuff happened today, and it all ended up being that Dylan won't be living with me in New York City. It was pretty rough, but not really something I want to talk about right now. All I'm gonna say is that it was rough.
If we say goodbye after school is done,
we might not be able to see each other anymore.
Tears became like rain on my eyelids.
While you walked home, away from me,
your figure was just like a sepia photograph.
Some people may wonder, and I even wonder myself...how can I make us work in a situation like that? Being as far away as we are? I think a lot of what helps me with my relationship with Dylan is what I write. Everything I do write is reinforcement in my head. If I write it down, whether it's here or in my wreckord journals or wherever, what I write down gets stuck in my head and I remember it easier. I've known that since high school, where I would write out my notes in class so I would remember what was going on. The more I write about Dylan, the more I remember him. That's why I used to write to him all the time in that journal. I would be close to him, even if I wasn't.
Admitting you're in love is humbling.
I couldn't sing your name.
Why is this world endless?
If I think about it too much, I'll be broken inside.
I hear your voice muttering, "I couldn't protect you."
Could I just hold you?
Over the next year or so, things are going to be rough. We'll be apart, sure. But I can look out my window and know that we really are looking at the same night sky. If I close my eyes and jump, I can be with him. I'll meet him halfway, as much as I need to. I have every confidence that this will work, and I have confidence in the one person who has taught me how to live more than anybody else. And if it doesn't work out, I will cry, but I will not love him any less. I will go out in a blaze of glory, like Dido's white flag, and I will take every lesson and every memory to heart. But I must be able to shine on my own. Dylan is a lamp just like me; he can't be my fuel. In little spurts, yes, but not all the time, and I must learn to do the same for him. It won't be easy, but I know I can do it. (If I can go to NYC all by myself, I can do anything, right?)
If we say goodbye after school is done,
tomorrow we won't be able to see each other.
I once believed that we would never change.
I gathered up my childish dreams,
and the memories turned into a sepia photograph.
The blue storm of time that runs past me whips at my cheeks.
I'll always love you!
Like I usually do, I saw something in my head when listening to this new song. They're usually indicators of my future life; it's happened a lot since last year. I saw Dylan in the city; I saw us playing around and having fun. I saw Emily, my new roommate. I saw Kino and Coney Island. And then, at the very end, I saw Dylan standing in the city by himself, and me running up to him and giving him a big kiss, and him returning it back. Having that image in my head pushes me forward, knowing that in all things, I have love. I can't worry about the future. I can only focus on the here and now, the wonderful person I have by my side, and firmly believe that he is going to make it, with or without me.
If we say goodbye after school,
tomorrow we might not be able to see each other anymore.
Before I wake up, the eastern sky rises.
You're beyond the sky...
I love you too.
Always and forever.
When Cedar Point asks which seat on Millennium Force is best, back or front, I say "the whole thing." XD
