memorialrainbow | 081111 -- Called on Account of Rain

So I just did something pretty ballsy: I called off of work.

Actually, I didn't call the whole day off. I woke up this morning feeling like crap -- see last post -- and went into work hoping I would feel better. Nope. Still felt like crap. So I waited until half day and went home. I feel a little better -- I've gotten a shower, plus I've found a couple of things to work on -- but the threat of three 10AM days is looming and it doesn't look pretty again for my sleep schedule.

Why do we keep ourselves going as long as we do? Why do we refuse to think that we need help? It was definitely a sick day. I wasn't throwing up, I didn't break a leg, but I wasn't doing any callers any favors tonight either. All I was doing was beating myself up. I cried after I logged out, because I felt like a bad employee.

I had to type to myself in all caps:

I AM NOT A BAD EMPLOYEE
IT IS OKAY FOR ME TO REST
BOTH MY CUSTOMERS AND MY COWORKERS WILL THANK ME

Tomorrow I have the day off. I want to get up early -- not too early, but I want to see the sun. I want to travel -- though apparently I need to fix my tire pressure first. Clueless Emily is clueless. I'll figure it out. Since I've gained a few pounds, I want to go swimming tomorrow -- but in my back-up suit, the black one with the surf shirt. I'd also like to go to a Barnes and Noble, but I'm not sure how all of that will work out.

There's also an open mic tomorrow at Sojourners. I'm seriously thinking about taking the violin.

Good night, everybody. I love you.
I am loved.
Even when I am alone.
No matter where I am...

I leave stardust wherever I go.