050812 -- Somebody Whom I Used To Know
May. 8th, 2012 11:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
memorialrainbowI'm kind of like this right now:
I am going to go FRIGGIN NUTS.
People tell me to just keep doing what it was I was doing. When I hear that, I hear, "You should have stayed at your job." I'm sorry. I couldn't have stayed. Being strong is not plowing through something like it doesn't hurt you. Being strong is knowing when to stop! Being strong is not committing mental suicide because you have no time to yourself each day. I don't know how some people do it.
I'm sorry if I'm taking time out for myself. I'm sorry if I'm just a kid, albeit an old one. I'm sorry if I should just grow up, put on nice neutral colors, go back out there and get another desk job. I know that this gig is coming up, it's just frustrating when I haven't heard anything. I feel like they will tell me when they're ready. It's the 8th, and I feel like I may have jumped the gun. I don't know what to do with myself except keep working on these books and pray my computer doesn't poop out on itself. My food goes bad, the view out the window is the same.
I'm still fighting for it.
But I wonder when I should stop fighting.
I am going to go FRIGGIN NUTS.
People tell me to just keep doing what it was I was doing. When I hear that, I hear, "You should have stayed at your job." I'm sorry. I couldn't have stayed. Being strong is not plowing through something like it doesn't hurt you. Being strong is knowing when to stop! Being strong is not committing mental suicide because you have no time to yourself each day. I don't know how some people do it.
I'm sorry if I'm taking time out for myself. I'm sorry if I'm just a kid, albeit an old one. I'm sorry if I should just grow up, put on nice neutral colors, go back out there and get another desk job. I know that this gig is coming up, it's just frustrating when I haven't heard anything. I feel like they will tell me when they're ready. It's the 8th, and I feel like I may have jumped the gun. I don't know what to do with myself except keep working on these books and pray my computer doesn't poop out on itself. My food goes bad, the view out the window is the same.
I'm still fighting for it.
But I wonder when I should stop fighting.
no subject
Date: 2012-05-09 02:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-05-21 10:09 pm (UTC)