021513 -- My Beef With Spring
Feb. 15th, 2013 10:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
memorialrainbowI have a beef with spring, and I think I'm finally understanding why.
First of all, let's not even talk about my sinus drainage, which happens every year with varying results. This year, I would be apt to say that God hates me, but I've long realized that error in my thinking. The drainage has hit me hard and fast.
There are also other things that are annoying me today. Most of these should be moot -- I am alive, I do have a source of income despite its size and irregularity -- and I have projects coming up that are so awesome that I can't even tell people yet. And because so many of these things do not pay immediately, I'm naturally apt to say that they are worthless, even though I know that they are not.
Part of me knows I'm going about this the wrong way. And yet.
Spring, for everybody else, is a time of rebirth. It's that time in the year where everybody who was hiding during winter finally gets out and embraces the day. Except me. Embracing and rebirth doesn't happen until past my birthday, really, so I spend all of March and April (and this year, apparently part of February) watching everything else blossom around me.
Plus, spring has never held good memories for me. Spring holds lots of potential that always gets doused. The planning for the park visit that doesn't happen. The preparation for a job that doesn't work out. The last time I remember a spring going well was in 2008, when in March (March usually goes okay -- February stinks, March is kind of ehh, and April SUCKS) I came to New York City.
Will this spring be a good one?
I guess it's up to -- well, not only just me.
Well, that and my sinuses need to knock it the F off. *sneeze*
First of all, let's not even talk about my sinus drainage, which happens every year with varying results. This year, I would be apt to say that God hates me, but I've long realized that error in my thinking. The drainage has hit me hard and fast.
There are also other things that are annoying me today. Most of these should be moot -- I am alive, I do have a source of income despite its size and irregularity -- and I have projects coming up that are so awesome that I can't even tell people yet. And because so many of these things do not pay immediately, I'm naturally apt to say that they are worthless, even though I know that they are not.
Part of me knows I'm going about this the wrong way. And yet.
Spring, for everybody else, is a time of rebirth. It's that time in the year where everybody who was hiding during winter finally gets out and embraces the day. Except me. Embracing and rebirth doesn't happen until past my birthday, really, so I spend all of March and April (and this year, apparently part of February) watching everything else blossom around me.
Plus, spring has never held good memories for me. Spring holds lots of potential that always gets doused. The planning for the park visit that doesn't happen. The preparation for a job that doesn't work out. The last time I remember a spring going well was in 2008, when in March (March usually goes okay -- February stinks, March is kind of ehh, and April SUCKS) I came to New York City.
Will this spring be a good one?
I guess it's up to -- well, not only just me.
Well, that and my sinuses need to knock it the F off. *sneeze*
