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memorialrainbowI didn't want to be that person.
And so, I let myself be controlled by that person.
I met him this week on Monday.
"Where have you been?" I had wanted to ask. But I couldn't.
You're just a ghost.
The six train is too late.
The 2 and 5 trains start running on the same track at 149th Street - Grand Concourse, where there is also a connection to the 4 train.
The MTASubwayTime app ensures I'll never be late.
He picked up my pieces as I traveled all the way up to Woodlawn, confident that one and one was all a relationship would ever be.
You clung onto my arm as we rode to Pelham Bay and I kept my mouth shut.
You want to quit your job, you say. Best of luck to you.
You want to be famous, you say. Best of luck to you.
You say you've returned to who you used to be. Guess what? I don't have that luxury. I changed forever the day I cried in my dad's arms in his kitchen, the day I cried in my kitchen clutching my pot.
Best of luck to you. Freaking kitchens.
I'm a mess because I remember every promise you ever made and I still kind of hope that they can come true.
But what else did you teach me? Oh yeah - my hopes and wants aren't worth anything. I should shut up like a good girl and let you do what you want. You never outright said that, but you must have known it would trigger me if you love me. Come on, what do you think this is, a La-Z-Boy with a side table?
I waited in the station and a 5 train - on the 2 line - picked us up and took us as far as 96th Street. When we stopped at 72nd, he asked if we should get off. I looked him in the eyes. "Why would we stop riding our train?"
Top Thrill Dragster has the distinction of being one of the few roller coasters that can malfunction and go backward.
But I've already done it once. I can't control that.
What I can control is which IRT train I take.
"Stay. Completely still."
The truth shall set you free.
Well...
The realignment began October 23rd.
November 3rd was the day I found myself again.
You set me free on November 28th.
I forgave my father on Christmas Eve.
On January 6, time stopped.
On February 14th, I was reminded why his favorite color is green.
And on March 11th, you were five months too late.
It's not that I don't love you.
It's because I love you - and myself.
Now, post realignment, we strike out homeward bound, take the 2 and 5 trains to the end of the 4 - and then to the Hudson Line.
And you are always, always, always still still with me.
I promise.
And so, I let myself be controlled by that person.
I met him this week on Monday.
"Where have you been?" I had wanted to ask. But I couldn't.
You're just a ghost.
The six train is too late.
The 2 and 5 trains start running on the same track at 149th Street - Grand Concourse, where there is also a connection to the 4 train.
The MTASubwayTime app ensures I'll never be late.
He picked up my pieces as I traveled all the way up to Woodlawn, confident that one and one was all a relationship would ever be.
You clung onto my arm as we rode to Pelham Bay and I kept my mouth shut.
You want to quit your job, you say. Best of luck to you.
You want to be famous, you say. Best of luck to you.
You say you've returned to who you used to be. Guess what? I don't have that luxury. I changed forever the day I cried in my dad's arms in his kitchen, the day I cried in my kitchen clutching my pot.
Best of luck to you. Freaking kitchens.
I'm a mess because I remember every promise you ever made and I still kind of hope that they can come true.
But what else did you teach me? Oh yeah - my hopes and wants aren't worth anything. I should shut up like a good girl and let you do what you want. You never outright said that, but you must have known it would trigger me if you love me. Come on, what do you think this is, a La-Z-Boy with a side table?
I waited in the station and a 5 train - on the 2 line - picked us up and took us as far as 96th Street. When we stopped at 72nd, he asked if we should get off. I looked him in the eyes. "Why would we stop riding our train?"
Top Thrill Dragster has the distinction of being one of the few roller coasters that can malfunction and go backward.
But I've already done it once. I can't control that.
What I can control is which IRT train I take.
"Stay. Completely still."
The truth shall set you free.
Well...
The realignment began October 23rd.
November 3rd was the day I found myself again.
You set me free on November 28th.
I forgave my father on Christmas Eve.
On January 6, time stopped.
On February 14th, I was reminded why his favorite color is green.
And on March 11th, you were five months too late.
It's not that I don't love you.
It's because I love you - and myself.
Now, post realignment, we strike out homeward bound, take the 2 and 5 trains to the end of the 4 - and then to the Hudson Line.
And you are always, always, always still still with me.
I promise.
