052713 -- Summer Sucks
May. 27th, 2013 08:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
memorialrainbowI don't know why I'm getting really depressed in light of the upcoming summer season.
I think part of it is the fact that last year completely, unequivocally SUCKED. Balls. Every time I listen to music from last year, I get sad. Every time I look at pictures, I get sad again. Naturally, how can you make summer not suck? Simple: by doing things with the people you love. A little harder when your schedules don't coordinate the way you want them to. (Perhaps Jesse was onto something?)
I'm trying to keep busy. I think it's when I stop and think about it that I really get sad, that I miss what could have been. But it's precisely that at this point: what could have been. There's no sense in wishing for all of that to come back. That will cause more trouble than it's worth.
I turn on some happy music that reminds me of happy times. If this didn't remind me so much of the winter, I'd play it all summer. As it stands, maybe the winter is happier right now, and I'm okay with that. I need to find a way to rewrite the summer so it won't replay the last one. And I wish I was more secure in doing so.
I thought I was. And then I woke up alone.
I'll do my best to look at the sky instead of the nearby Metro-North tracks and wonder... why won't it leave me alone?
I think part of it is the fact that last year completely, unequivocally SUCKED. Balls. Every time I listen to music from last year, I get sad. Every time I look at pictures, I get sad again. Naturally, how can you make summer not suck? Simple: by doing things with the people you love. A little harder when your schedules don't coordinate the way you want them to. (Perhaps Jesse was onto something?)
I'm trying to keep busy. I think it's when I stop and think about it that I really get sad, that I miss what could have been. But it's precisely that at this point: what could have been. There's no sense in wishing for all of that to come back. That will cause more trouble than it's worth.
I turn on some happy music that reminds me of happy times. If this didn't remind me so much of the winter, I'd play it all summer. As it stands, maybe the winter is happier right now, and I'm okay with that. I need to find a way to rewrite the summer so it won't replay the last one. And I wish I was more secure in doing so.
I thought I was. And then I woke up alone.
I'll do my best to look at the sky instead of the nearby Metro-North tracks and wonder... why won't it leave me alone?
