020911 -- Confidential
Feb. 9th, 2011 08:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
memorialrainbowToday I sit here relaxing. I have about a half hour to go until work, and I've been trying to get some stuff done today. I feel like there's never enough to eat, but the extra I put on during the Super Bowl is gone, and I feel better about that. Still working on the user info. Maybe it'll get done tomorrow. Maybe not.
Perhaps I should start doing stuff in the early morning hours, other than trying to sleep. I don't get up until four o'clock anyway. I told my boyfriend to call me at two so I could get up. What does he do? He misunderstands my text message. It's okay, though -- it's not a big deal. If I sleep in tomorrow, though, on my day off, I might have some issues with that. I really want to go to Easton tomorrow. Perhaps I'll take Ringo, hang out at Starbucks, and get that user info finally done.
So I finally took a look at the link my boyfriend sent me. It was an NPR article on different ways to get your music 'out there.' Different tools and what not, I'm already using BandCamp, which isn't going bad (SHL is still out there, btw). More than anything, it reminded me of sixth grade.
Sixth grade was horrible. (Sorry, Mom and Dad. You never knew.) I had always been confident in my own abilities before. I knew that I was good at drawing, at writing, at music, at school, and I took confidence in those abilities. Even if someone was better than me at something, I would rather want to collaborate with them than anything. You know, give them a big hug, include them in my artistic endeavors. But sixth grade was when I was suddenly surrounded by people who were better than me. And the message that they kept sending was "We have filled your role. You are no longer needed."
It's hard for me to look at all of the other artists out there, those who have successfully made careers of it, and think, how can I do the same thing? I can market myself so many different ways, but I don't want to limit myself by that. I don't want to be just a country singer, just a pop singer, just a folk singer, just a classical pianist, just this or that or whatever. I want to be able to reach so many people, and I don't want to limit myself. But if I don't find the confidence to stand, then where will I go? How will I get there?
I need time to think about myself as an artist.
But I can't do that if my identity is a customer service representative.
Perhaps I should start doing stuff in the early morning hours, other than trying to sleep. I don't get up until four o'clock anyway. I told my boyfriend to call me at two so I could get up. What does he do? He misunderstands my text message. It's okay, though -- it's not a big deal. If I sleep in tomorrow, though, on my day off, I might have some issues with that. I really want to go to Easton tomorrow. Perhaps I'll take Ringo, hang out at Starbucks, and get that user info finally done.
So I finally took a look at the link my boyfriend sent me. It was an NPR article on different ways to get your music 'out there.' Different tools and what not, I'm already using BandCamp, which isn't going bad (SHL is still out there, btw). More than anything, it reminded me of sixth grade.
Sixth grade was horrible. (Sorry, Mom and Dad. You never knew.) I had always been confident in my own abilities before. I knew that I was good at drawing, at writing, at music, at school, and I took confidence in those abilities. Even if someone was better than me at something, I would rather want to collaborate with them than anything. You know, give them a big hug, include them in my artistic endeavors. But sixth grade was when I was suddenly surrounded by people who were better than me. And the message that they kept sending was "We have filled your role. You are no longer needed."
It's hard for me to look at all of the other artists out there, those who have successfully made careers of it, and think, how can I do the same thing? I can market myself so many different ways, but I don't want to limit myself by that. I don't want to be just a country singer, just a pop singer, just a folk singer, just a classical pianist, just this or that or whatever. I want to be able to reach so many people, and I don't want to limit myself. But if I don't find the confidence to stand, then where will I go? How will I get there?
I need time to think about myself as an artist.
But I can't do that if my identity is a customer service representative.
no subject
Date: 2011-02-10 01:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-02-10 12:24 pm (UTC)