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[personal profile] memorialrainbow
You don't know that I started playing piano again. I want to go to grad school.
You don't know that I figured out what that one event that traumatized me was; did it all on my own.
You don't know that I'm working at a frozen yogurt place. I have to get a new computer ASAP.
You don't know that I've started writing music for the first time in a long time. Again, ASAP.
You don't know that I wrote a novel in three days. Or perhaps you do, but you don't know who helped me write a novel in three days.
You don't know that I'm doing NaNoWriMo again this year. You especially don't know that I don't have a plot.
You don't know that I started writing the story that's been on my heart and in my mind for years. I regretted not doing it when I was little.
You don't know that I have a new roommate. He takes a lot of patience, but it's worth it.
You don't know that I got fired from my previous job. I know precisely what happened.
You don't know that I'll never be okay with Miami now. All it does is remind me of you.
You don't know that I see more than you think I do. But you also don't know that I'm still deathly scared of what you will do.
You don't know that I went to go see the penguins at the aquarium. It was fuzzy.
You don't know that I cosplayed at New York Comic Con this year. I was Red.
You don't know that I played the piano at my grandfather's funeral in September. Or what I found while I was home.
You don't know that I go to Nintendo World a lot to hang out with friends and play video games.
You don't know that that I'm not trying to trivialize everything you're going through by writing this.
You don't know that I refuse to drop the Dvorak series, and that my reasons for doing so have nothing to do with you.
You don't know the real reason I'm not back in Ohio; what I learned about myself this summer.
You don't know who I am; that it explains everything.
You don't know that I've accepted the fact that I might be crazy;
And you don't know how I'm not scared anymore, or that the rage is gone, or that sometimes I wish it would come back.
You're the one person who will never know all these things.
Why don't you know them?
Where did you go?


"There's a reason light rail doesn't exist in Ohio."

September 2017

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