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2011's End Of Year Review

2012's End Of Year Review

2013's End Of Year Review

2014's End Of Year Review

The nights will bring us together; we stay here wishing for dark
Light comes above the river, then we fade away
Your eyes have seen our emotion, they're changing here in the dark
Soon we'll be in the open, and a day will start.


1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?:
This is gonna be tough, I guess. Played at a convention. Was really graceful about a breakup when I probably shouldn't have been (as in, I didn't throw a friggin' fit). Other than that, it's a lot of the same as it was last year, which sucks in retrospect, but at least I'm aware of it. OH WAIT I WENT TO CANADA CAN'T FORGET THAT~

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
The only resolution I have for next year is to get the hell outta Dodge.

3. Where did you ring in 2015?
Coney Island for their celebrations. The Parachute Jump lit up all out of whack and then fireworks went off and my New Year immediately went south. (I'm bitter about that day, but it really was a fun time.)

4. What date from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?:
I guess in retrospect, when I look at the entirety of my life and think about what would be the most important, I'd go with July 6th. Garo and I left the lake house early and sneaked away to Carowinds for a couple of hours and had a grand old time. An extremely close second is August 7th, in which we basically did the same thing at Kings Dominion. We did a lot of cool things. Loser.

Oh, and also October 28th, because Garo sucks and should die in a fire and I came out to my parents. That was the day I started this seemingly impossible process of trying to figure everything out. Still mostly looks impossible, hence trying to get outta Dodge.

5. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?:
I was 27. I don't really remember. I think it was kind of quiet. Might have gone to Mitsuwa.

6. What was your status by Valentines Day?
Taken.

7. Were you in school (anytime this year)?
No.

8. How did you earn your keep?
Equinox, bumming off of Garo, and lately kind of sort of this second job?

9. Did you suffer illness or injury?:
Nope, yay.

10. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?:
Going to Carowinds on July 6th. It sucked until then and was okay after then.

11. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?:
Does Kurosawa Rin count?

12. What political issue stirred you the most?:
Canadian politics.

13. Where did most of your money go?:
Rent. Still still still. Dropped a lot of money into going to Canada because Canada.

14. What was your favorite TV program?:
Hibike! Euphonium, which is a lovely slice of life anime about concert band.

15. What was your favorite film of this year?:
Did I actually see any movies? Oh, wait, I went to see Star Wars. So I guess Star Wars.

16. What was the best book you read?:
I didn't really read any books because I spent most of my year depressed and hiding. Though I did just finish Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, and I thought it was brilliantly well written.

17. What was your greatest musical discovery?:
Blaaaaaaargh. Okay so I really do like this new job even though it's driving me total batshit nuts and I'm trying to have patience with it, because like I'm supposed to have patience with it, but I don't know sometimes. Probably the biggest thing I've learned is, at this point, the city is a horrible energy suck and it's making it hard for me to function. There are some brilliant things about it, but the long and the short of it is that I'm not getting anything done. And I was, before some really crappy musical circumstances shot me in the butt and convinced me to quit. The good thing that happened to me musically this year happened while I was in Charlotte, and well...I'd like to use more of those connections. :)

18. Did anyone close to you give birth?:
Sarah! My cousin Erin is pregnant too.

19. Did anyone close to you die?:
The kid who bullied me in sixth grade died. And I learned there was a whole group of them who have died way too soon. But if I'm still alive, I guess that means something.

20. What countries -- ahem, states -- did you visit?:
I WENT TO CANADAAAAAAAAAA. THIS QUESTION IS ACTUALLY VALID. Okay, caps lock off. Also went to KD with Garo, Ohio, and the big NC.

21. What was your biggest achievement of the year?:
Being more secure in my identity, in many ways. Having the courage to stand up for myself, even just a little bit.

22. What was your biggest failure?:
Letting other people get to me regarding what I want to do with my life and where I want to be. Thinking I could get away with doing 'grand things' on my own when in reality going someplace doesn't mean you have a great life.

23. Compared to this time last year, are you…
i. thinner or fatter?: thinner, by just a bit

ii. richer or poorer?: poorer

24. What do you wish you'd done more of?:
Anything but sitting in bed.

25. What do you wish you'd done less of?:
Worrying, being depressed. Sleeping. Telling myself that I can't do it, because that has now become a habit.

26. How will you be spending Christmas next December?:
No clue. Hopefully not in NYC.

27. Did you fall in love in 2015?
Kind of.

28. How many one-night stands?:
Nope.

29. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?:
I don't hate Garo, despite it all. I still hate 'him' for what he did, but I think I'm closer to being over it, maybe, finally.

30. What did you get really, really, really excited about?:
My friend Kariel coming into NYC for two weeks.

31. What did you want and get?:
My best friend.

32. What did you want and not get?:
Money for composing music when I should have rightfully gotten it.

33. What was your best month?
July.

34. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?:
The ability to stand on my own without having to rely on somebody else. Singularity. I wanted to make a goal last year, and then I was depressed and things sucked but it is what it is, it's not happening again. A reminder of all of the strength that I gained in 2014. Time. Patience. Fuel.

35. How would you rate this year with a scale from 1 (shitty) to 10 (excellent)?
Ehh, it was like a 4? But I think it's setting up for a really good 2016, so I'm not complaining.

36. What's something you learned about yourself in 2015?
I'm gay. Other than that, God still loves me, Dylan is not going to make my life a living hell anymore, and just because you trust someone doesn't mean they won't come out of left field and stick their dick in places it don't belong. I can't save other people. (I can barely save myself!) There's something bigger and better and more wonderful around the horizon, and I've denied it to myself for way too long. And if I can just find some wiggle room between all of this insanity, I think I can make it happen. Trust in God. And trees. Lots of trees.

37. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?:
It was still all black everything for a while, and now it's shaping out to be more jeans and t-shirts again, I guess.

38. What kept you sane?:
Surprisingly not Garo, because he gave up at the beginning of the year and it never got better. So it wasn't. I was not sane at all this year. There. I said it.

39. Who did you miss?:
My family.

40. Who was the best new person you met?:
Patrick's actually cool, despite the fact that he's horribly disorganized. Someone whose last name looks really sweet, but not on Emily (let the reader understand).

41. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
It's every person for themselves. But that's okay, because God's got it under control.

42. What song will always remind you of 2015?:
"The Edge" by Yuksek.

43. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"Cause I know what you do is out of fashion
And it only makes it harder for me
And I know that you're scared of the notion
We'll become who we're meant to be --
who are we meant to be?"

44. What Quotes sum up the year?:
"When I was 16 years old, I tried to kill myself because I felt weird and I felt different and I felt like I did not belong. And now I'm standing here and, so, I would like for this moment to be for that kid out there who feels like she's weird or she's different or she doesn't fit in anywhere. Yes, you do. I promise you do. You do. Stay weird. Stay different. And then when it's your turn and you are standing on this stage, please pass the same message to the next person who comes along."

February 2017

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