090812 -- Apology Accepted

Whoo! That was a fun week -- NOT.

I stumbled through it. I felt like crap. I locked myself in my bedroom, walked home from Starbucks in a daze, treated those I loved like crap. Knocked on windows, disturbed the peace, misunderstood. Hated pretty much everything.

WELL. Now that I have gotten all of that bitchiness out of my system, I could either sit around and apologize for it, or I could stop being sorry and make awesome shit happen. I think I'm going to go with the latter.

I've always used it as a weakness, a place I can run. I figured if I felt bad about myself, if I punished myself, someone else would save me. I've written about this time and time again. It's a problem I'm aware of, a habit that for once I'm actually doing pretty good at kicking. I only need myself. (As I start to realize what the entire problem has been with this week. I'm not mentioning it here, but if you've spent any time around me this week, YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS.)

Thankfully all of that insanity is ending today, and hopefully I can go back into the studio without being a soppy, crying mess. Hopefully.

What does it take to be strong in this day and age? What is the true meaning of strength? To be a little braver, to be selfish? You taught me these things, and I threw them all away. I won't apologize. I won't say I'm sorry. Because I know you forgive me. I'm just going to show up, put it all behind me, and deliver.

I can live my life now because of you.

No amount of music can thank you enough.

That said, I can't forget who I am. What my missing piece is. Why I like writing so much, and what my personal and professional goals are for that. I think as long as I can keep running toward October with my head high and my computer under my arm, I think magical things will happen. I already know they're starting to.

Let's make something happen, y'all.

090812 -- Songs of Summer

For a bit of fun, I figured I would go back and find a song that represented each summer, from 2005 on. I hope you have fun looking and listening :D

2005: Greatful days

This is the season I was looking forward to.
The wind stirs, the city takes life!
The morning comes earlier than usual -- I can walk on because of that.
There's plenty of bad news, but don't discard happiness for sadness.

Summertime is coming soon, everybody celebrate!
Parties lasting every day, the memories are forever
Sun is always shining bright
Waves are rolling on the shore

2006: Beautiful Fighters

You're not on a white horse at all -- you're more easygoing than that!
To be honest, there are bad days,
but those who don't stop are beautiful fighters.

2007: glitter

This summer, we will start on a new journey.
I sense uneasiness in the distance.
Together, we'll start today
and find the path we're dreaming of.

2008: love the world

I'll tell you my secret; you may do with it as you wish.
I'm sure you'll like the seat I've reserved for you.

2009: SweetieX2

You and I -- I catch your eyes
We're connected by the news of love
Wait a minute -- you don't mind?
The secret of my heart starts to overflow

2010: Find Your Love

Too many times, I've been wrong
I guess being right takes too long
I'm done waiting -- there's nothing left to do
But give all I have to you

2011: Obelisk

Promise, as I cry --
as you fly over the rubble in a curve --
grab hold of a miracle!
Seek the beating in your heart, until you bring back this life.
Will you make it?
I hope you'll make it!

2012: Stella

"For example, if you made your return as you did in the past,
before our love is lost,
then the lights on top of the hill..."
I can't erase my wishes,
so I'll wish upon a star.